I have a confession to make.
I hate, hate, hate (actually it’s more like absolutely loathe) pantyhose.
There, I said it. Feels so good to get that off my chest.
I can just see the blank expressions on your faces now. ‘Where did that come from’ you wonder. Well, see, it’s like this. I’m what some might consider ‘vertically challenged’, as in, I stand at a whopping 5’3″. Now, I came to terms with my ‘shortness factor’ years ago, and I quickly learnt that a pair of 4 inch heels go a long way to making up for Mother Nature’s shortcomings (pun intended).
But being this height, has certain, shall we say, ‘difficulties’. I can’t (or at the very least find it really hard) to find pants that fit off the rack. And yes, I know about the whole ‘petites’ sizing. But the thing is, petites only work if you are actually, well, petite. And while I am indeed short, I’m not tiny, so a lot of the time, those pants look like capris on me – which is fine if that’s what I’m looking for, not so much when I want pants that actually hit at the ankles.
Which leads me to my hatred of pantyhose. Those buggers never, ever, ever fit me properly. If I get the size that’s supposed to work for me, they wind up sitting under my armpits (attractive look if ever there was). If I go a size down, the stupid gusset thingy winds up making me look like my daughter with a full diaper – as in, it’s sitting half way down my legs.
There is no winning with them.
And it doesn’t matter if I go with the cheap brands or if I plonk down a good $40 on a pair (and yes, I’ve done that, on the suggestion of a friend who shall remain nameless). They all suck.
So, when I need to wear a covering on my legs, I cheat. I use ‘thigh highs’ (wonderful invention those things). You are essentially wearing stockings without all that mucking about with garter belts.
And honestly, if I’m going to be wearing fancy knickers, why would I want to cover those things up with the nastiness that is pantyhose?
I know some women choose to wear them, and I know some women have too (the support kind – thinking of all my nurse friends out there), I just don’t want to. EVER.
So, till next time, please, put down that pantyhose and step away from the counter (you’ll thank me one day).