Shh, it’s a secret

I have a confession to make. 

I hate, hate, hate (actually it’s more like absolutely loathe) pantyhose.

There, I said it. Feels so good to get that off my chest. 

I can just see the blank expressions on your faces now. ‘Where did that come from’ you wonder. Well, see, it’s like this. I’m what some might consider ‘vertically challenged’, as in, I stand at a whopping 5’3″. Now, I came to terms with my ‘shortness factor’ years ago, and I quickly learnt that a pair of 4 inch heels go a long way to making up for Mother Nature’s shortcomings (pun intended).

But being this height, has certain, shall we say, ‘difficulties’. I can’t (or at the very least find it really hard) to find pants that fit off the rack. And yes, I know about the whole ‘petites’ sizing. But the thing is, petites only work if you are actually, well, petite. And while I am indeed short, I’m not tiny, so a lot of the time, those pants look like capris on me – which is fine if that’s what I’m looking for, not so much when I want pants that actually hit at the ankles.

Which leads me to my hatred of pantyhose. Those buggers never, ever, ever fit me properly. If I get the size that’s supposed to work for me, they wind up sitting under my armpits (attractive look if ever there was). If I go a size down, the stupid gusset thingy winds up making me look like my daughter with a full diaper – as in, it’s sitting half way down my legs.

There is no winning with them. 

And it doesn’t matter if I go with the cheap brands or if I plonk down a good $40 on a pair (and yes, I’ve done that, on the suggestion of a friend who shall remain nameless). They all suck. 

So, when I need to wear a covering on my legs, I cheat.  I use ‘thigh highs’ (wonderful invention those things). You are essentially wearing stockings without all that mucking about with garter belts.

And honestly, if I’m going to be wearing fancy knickers, why would I want to cover those things up with the nastiness that is pantyhose?

I know some women choose to wear them, and I know some women have too (the support kind – thinking of all my nurse friends out there), I just don’t want to. EVER.

So, till next time, please, put down that pantyhose and step away from the counter (you’ll thank me one day).


14 thoughts on “Shh, it’s a secret

  1. I can’t even remember the last time I wore pantyhose — yup, totally can’t remember. I did, however, used to wear my soccer socks up high (like thigh highs) and would love the supportive feeling. Maybe I’ll start doing that again 🙂

  2. I totally understand your issue as I have the same but opposite. Being tall I can never find ones that fit and I stand there doing this ridiculous wiggle dance trying to get them to go up. What bugs me even more than not fitting into them is sticking my finger right through them whilst trying to pull them up.

    1. I love knee highs (especially the ones you can now get that have a patterned top – it’s like a little secret). But as I wear a lot of pencil skirts for work, and I’m not a teenager who can pull of the knee high with mary-janes look, I have to go with extra cover. I just refuse to touch pantyhose.

  3. I’m on board! But while I’ve gone to the Naked Leg side of things to avoid the dreaded hose, I would still happily wear the thigh highs – IF I could find a pair that didn’t decided to attack my thigh like a tourniquet! Is there a secret to those things too??

    1. Megan, I’ve found that the ones that work best for me are Hanes. I’ve tried the cheaper ones and I totally feel like they are cutting off my circulation. The Hanes ones are more expensive, but I’ve found them on Amazon a good $3 cheaper than at say Macy’s or Dillards. You just can’t beat the quality. When they do go on sale, I tend to stock up (I wear stockings for work) – as of right now, I have an extra 5 pair sitting in my drawer. A girl can never have too many back ups, right?

  4. Pantyhose are a devilish invention. I never wear them! I have done the thigh high thing and it works if I absolutely have to wear something but usually I stay away from all of it. Love the post!

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