That’s right more.
And not more of the usual things – more time, more money, more, well everything. I want more of the things that really matter to me. Everyone has the same about of hours in the day, it’s how you use them that differentiates us. As for money, well I figure if I spend all my time thinking (or worrying) about it, it will never happen. As my Mum says, live your life true to you and the money will come. And everything? Aside from the simple fact that I couldn’t possibly fit everything in our house, who wants that much stuff anyway?
So here’s what I want more of:
I want to be more present in Little P’s life – in the moments. I want to be around to see those fleeting little bits of time where kids do or say something that just take your breath away. Because all too soon, she will be grown up.
I want to be more patient – to understand that not everyone works on the same time that I do. To realize that while things may seem ‘life or death’ important to me, they more than likely don’t to others. I want to be able to accept this fact and not have it drive me batty.
I want more time with just M. It’s hard right now, but those times when it’s just the two of us, even if it’s just for a few minutes are precious to me. I’d like more of those, please.
I want more time with my friends, both near and far. I want to be a better friend – to not give into my inner thoughts of ‘it’s too late’ or ‘I’m too tired’ or ‘they are probably doing something anyway’ and to not let those thoughts get in the way of me simply picking up the phone and saying ‘hey, want to go grab a coffee?’
I want to be more forgiving – especially of myself. The idea of ‘having it all’ is exhausting, and I’m tired of trying to fit into that supermom role. It’s just not me. I’m flawed and imperfect. But you know what? That’s okay. I know that Little P and M love me – for who I am. And that’s enough. It’s needs to be enough.
I want to be more disciplined in doing the things that make me happy. For too long I’ve let life dictate what I do. Well no more. I want to post on my blog more regularly, I want to do my MK more often, I want to go places with Little P and discover them all over again with her. I want to get lost in a book. I want to be moved by a piece of music so much that it makes me cry. I want to sit outside and just be.
I want to exercise more – even if it’s just to take Little P on a bike ride or run around the back yard with her.
And lastly, I’d like more tolerance. I’d like to be more understanding of people who do stupid things – to realize that it’s really not my life they are impacting. Sure, they make it inconvenient sometimes, but at the end of the day, that’s really their issue and not mine.
So 2013 it’s been fun, but I’ll be glad to see the back of you.
To you and yours, may 2014 fill your cup and bring you plenty of surprises.
Till next time,
(oh, and I’d like to run away with a Mad Man with a Blue Box, just once)