Up next in the FtMom’s series is the wonderful Ms. D – Momma to the adorable Miss S who just turned the grand old age of 5. Originally from Louisville (which I so badly want to pronounce ‘Louis Ville’) she’s been in Sin City almost as long as we have. Ms. D lived here previously in the 90’s (apparently once wasn’t enough for her), bounced around in Cali and then hit the mid-West before heading back to the desert.
As a parent, there are moments when your kids just take your breath away (sometimes in a good way, sometimes not so much). Is there a time when Miss S made you wonder what just happened?
Sure – that’s easy. It’s how switched on to technology she is, always has been. At 17 months she was flipping through apps on my phone to find the one she wanted. At 2 she essentially confiscated my iPad and was schooling ME on how to use it.
Recently she had my phone, took a picture of me and managed to post it to Facebook all without me knowing. It wasn’t till I started to get notifications about the photo that I realized what it was that she had done (needless to say it was deleted).
What surprises you about Miss S?
Her sense of humor. She’s all about telling jokes and wanting to know if I find it funny. It just amazes me as she’s so serious in pretty much every other aspect of life, so the fact that she’s something of a jokester just cracks me up. (and apparently her jokes are funny 50% of the time. Hey that’s pretty good odds for a 5 year old. I know grown ups who aren’t funny AT ALL – although they think they are hilarious).
What’s one thing people told you about being a Mom that never happened?
We never went through the Terrible Two’s – I know, it’ crazy, and I don’t know if it’s because of her personality or what, but she has always been a pretty level headed and mellow kid. Sure she has had her fair share of tantrums and not being cooperative (don’t we all?) but we never went through the whole ‘throwing myself on the floor and massive crying’ thing that everyone told me to expect.
The other one that everyone stressed was my needing to carve out ‘Mommy Time’. I’ve just never really felt like I had to have a break, for both our sakes. Sure I like spending time with my friends, would love to do it more, but I don’t ever feel like ‘I gotta get out of here’. Maybe when she’s a teenager that will change. Who knows?
Do you ever catch yourself saying or doing things your parents did that you swore you would never do once you were a parent?
Oh yeah. All the time. I think the biggest one is that my Mom used to overly worry about us – the whole ‘I’ll find you dead in a ditch’ deal. I always swore that I wouldn’t worry so much over my kids, but now that I’m a parent I’m constantly worried about Miss S and the world around us. I don’t think I’m as bad as my Mom was, but it’s still more than I would have anticipated.
If you could go back in time and tell your pre-Mom self one thing, what would it be?
All of your priorities are about to change and you need to understand and be ready for that. No one and nothing will be a bigger part of your life or a bigger priority than your child. And that’s incredibly frightening – to think that one little person can just turn your world upside down – in a really great way that’s also scary.
As we were finishing up, Ms. D asked if she could add one more thing – it wasn’t part of any of the questions that I had sent, but it was something that had come to her late the night before our interview and she asked if it was okay to share. Naturally I said yes.
There are times when you are watching your child play, when you give into little day dreams, wondering about what your child will grow up to be.
If Miss S is playing with LEGOs, making buildings and towers, I’ll start thinking ‘maybe an architect’. Then moments later she will be singing and performing for me, asking if she can ‘put on a show’, and I’m immediately thinking maybe a career on Broadway.
But ever since she was a little (well, little-r) she has wanted to be a doctor. She would pretend her toys were sick or hurt and she would fix them, make them feel better. The other day, she was just playing with her toys, not in any particular way, just playing like kids do and I asked her what it was that she wanted to be when she grew up. She gives me this look like I’ve just asked her the dumbest question ever and says ‘Duh Mommy. A doctor. You silly goose.’ (ah, from the mouths of babes).
Hearing Ms D. say that made me pause and think: when we were little we used to have great big dreams, dreams that we could pretty much do anything we wanted – when did that stop?
Till next time, dream on my friends, dream on and dream big.