FtMoMs – Mrs. B

Okay so firstly yes, I did just abbreviate ‘From the Mouths of Moms’ to ‘FtMoMs‘ (kind of looks like ‘FitMoms’ huh?). I needed to – it was just wayyyyyy to long to type and Google kept telling me that the title needed to be shortened. So what Google says, I do.

Alright, now that unpleasantness is done, onto Mom #2 – Mrs. B.

She’s been a dear friend for about three years now, although it feels like we have know each other for way longer than that. She’s a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom for those who don’t know) and a crazy Jamberry Lady (her words not mine). She’s married to Mr. B and a Mom to 6 (four are actually hers, the other two are ringers – as in exchange students). They range in age from 18 down to 4 (plus a dog and two cats….. and a partridge in a pear tree) – if that’s not a full house, I don’t know what is. She’s way too much into the Raw Food Movement (ha, get it?) for me, but she’s incredibly funny, has a huge heart and when the mood takes her, can make a pretty decent Lemon Drop cocktail. Without further ado, here’s Mrs. B:

Alisha B

What’s one comment you get from people about parenting that always, always makes you just roll your eyes (cause you know, this ain’t your first rodeo)?

For me it’s the ‘you’re gonna miss this when they are older’ statement. I don’t miss the toddler stage – you know the whole oh look, here’s a big box of stuff, let’s dump it ALL out and then walk away from it scenario. I definitely don’t miss diapers. Honestly the only thing I really miss about my kids being little is the ability to put them down somewhere and know that they will stay right there so I can go finish my coffee or heaven forbid, just pee in peace.

Out of all the things you were told to expect about being a parent, what’s the one thing that’s stuck with you over the years?

Pick your battles.

There are some things that just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. And to give choices to your kids for the little things as you go, that way they (the kids) have input into what they are doing right here and now – like you can either go brush your teeth or go put on pajamas first, but both things need to be done. That way when it comes to the big things it’s easier to get them to make decisions and there is less push back.

What are you looking forward to in the future (empty nest, graduations, peeing in peace)?

I like the idea of an empty nest, but honestly I just want to be able to sleep past 6:30am. That’s going to be awesome.

I’m also really looking forward to having grown up conversations with my kids, you know, being able to ask them questions without having to kid it down for them and getting their honest opinions. That’s going be a different kind of awesome.

Do you ever catch yourself saying or doing things that your parents did, that you swore you would never, ever do?

Ha, yeah all the time. Especially the little phrases that my Dad used to say. Like ‘pay attention. It doesn’t cost much.’ (I used to think my Dad was the silliest person around because of his sayings).

pay attention

My Mom was very much an ‘act of love’ kind of person, not so much with the lovey-dovey affection (she would show us how much she loved us by keeping a clean house, cleaning our rooms for us, etc.) and I find myself doing the same thing – but what my kids really want is my time, to have my full attention on them. For me it’s far more important to be present for me kids than whether the dishes are done or the laundry is put away (I couldn’t agree more – although if someone offered to clean my house, I wouldn’t be adverse to that – you know, just saying).

After having 4 kids, what’s the one thing you would tell Moms-to-be about being a Mom?

You earn your judgements (as in if you say your child is NEVER going to watch TV – then that’s exactly what they will end up doing – ALL. THE. TIME).

That, and know that you are going to make mistakes. And that’s okay. It’s how we learn. Heck, I still make them. We need to be supportive of other Mom’s (and Dad’s). If we, as parents, are supportive of each other then we would have a lot less concerns and doubts about what we are doing.

Everyone has an opinion about how you parent, from the time you conceive all the way through to being a Grandparent (it doesn’t stop), and that’s okay. What’s not okay is when people judge and criticize you for parenting the way you do without knowing the full story. Unless they have walked in my shoes, they don’t know squat about what my life is like and why I parent the way I do. You should never feel like you have to defend yourself or your kids because someone is ignorant.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Till next time, may your house be full of laughter and love, as well as dirty dishes and unmade beds.

kellysignatureblack

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