Forgiveness It’s one of the hardest things in life to do.
It’s a simple enough task, to give someone a break when they have done something that was less than stellar. But when it comes down to it, it can be really, really, and I mean really hard to do.
Whether it’s forgiving someone for not being there when they said they would, or for not supporting you when you needed it most, having the ability to say, ‘that’s okay’ and actually mean it ,and then be able to move on, can require an act of strength (and maybe a liquid libation or two for courage).
Now I like to think I’m a pretty forgiving person (wasn’t always the case, I could hold onto a grudge like the best of them), but being a parent changes that. Man does it change that.
It’s not like you can blame a three month old for projectile vomiting onto your favorite outfit. Or hold a grudge on your one year old because she decided the carpet needed a yogurt facial. It just doesn’t work that way. And it’s funny, but that forgiveness thing starts to grow and develop into something that’s almost (almost) an automatic process.
Sure people still disappoint me, but I’ve realized it’s kind of just a part of life. No one, not even those who love you, will avoid hurting or disappointing you. It happens. But holding onto the negativity that’s associated with NOT forgiving someone (or multiple someone’s) is way worse than taking a deep breath and saying ‘I forgive you’. And then moving past it – that’s the kicker right there.
Here’s the thing – forgiving someone, anyone, takes courage.
It means that you are okay with the fact that they didn’t come through for you and that you aren’t going to hold it against them for doing it. And that’s a huge feat. Having the strength to do that, and then being able to move past it and let it go (and yes you can totally sing that) can be even harder. But you know what? When you can master that, the forgiving AND the moving on, life becomes so much more enjoyable.
Because when you aren’t holding onto all those times people let you down, all the things that people have done to hurt and disappoint you, you suddenly open yourself up to a world of possibilities. And that in itself is all kinds of awesome. You might not be able to change the past, but by forgiving people, you change your future. And I think that’s enough motivation for anyone, don’t you.
So till next time, take a leap of faith, who knows where you will land.