Anyone who has been following me for a while, knows (and hopefully appreciates) my fondness for a glass of vino from time to time – it’s true, I do like to ‘drink up’ on the odd occasion..
And while I joke that I’m a big ole lush, I’m really not, and I do tend to take my wine in stride. I don’t hold it against anyone who doesn’t like wine, or even drink for that matter (M doesn’t drink – which equals a designated driver for me, woo hoo), but I do have an issue with people who automatically ‘blacklist‘ me because I do.
Which leads me to today’s post. It’s a tad wordy, so bare with me.
When I first decided to be a SAHM, I quickly realized that if I didn’t find some grown-ups to interact with, that I was going to be in serious trouble. So, when a friend of mine suggested trying MeetUp
, to find playgroups, I jumped on that bandwagon so fast I think I gave myself whiplash.
It was amazing. So many groups to choose from. Did I want to be with a group of stay at home moms that grew their own vegetables, made their own paper and probably smelt like patchouli? Or did I want to join a group that seemed to be all about their ‘inner goddess’ and how to connect with her? Or how about the Wiccan moms who were about to celebrate the Spring Equinox? (I had visions of women running around in their birthday suits when I saw that one.)
In the end I selected four different groups – three for weekdays and one for weekends. My initial thinking was that with this many groups to be a part of, there was guaranteed to be something to do every day, and I was bound to meet at least a few like-minded women. And that held true – for the most part.
With one group, I just couldn’t make the play dates, as even though they said they covered my area of town, they all wound up being a good 45 minutes from home. Which, when you have a little one (P was about 4 months at the time) is a long time to dedicate to driving somewhere. So, after a couple of months, I discontinued my membership with them (saving not only gas but also my sanity).
Two other groups worked out perfectly for me – I got on well with the other Mommies, the kids where around the same age as Little P, their meet-ups where close to home – it was kismet (and even though I’m working full time now I still see and speak to a lot of them.)
And the other group? Well let’s just say we didn’t see eye to eye on a couple of things.
The first ‘outing’ that I went to for this group was a ‘get to know you’ event at one of the Mommy’s homes. There wasn’t a long description on the meeting, it just listed the address of where to go to, that it would be a ‘fun way to get to meet other members of the group’ and that ‘slight fare would be served’.
Now, my Mother taught me that when you are invited to someone’s home, to never turn up empty handed. Always bring something, whether its food, drinks, or a gift for the host, always have something for them. And I’ve been doing that my entire adult life. So, like the good girl that I am, I came bearing two bottles of wine – cause even if you don’t drink it, wine is always an easy thing to re-gift.
I turn up to the event, knock on the door, and when it’s opened, I introduce myself and wait to be invited in.
I didn’t even make it past the front door.
The woman who greeted me did so with a broad smile till her eyes landed on the bottles that I had in my hands. Instead of a ‘Hi and welcome’ I got ‘Alcohol is not welcome here.’ Her smile disappeared, and I swear the air around me got colder. ‘That’s okay’, I reply, ‘I’ll just leave them in the car.’ As I’m turning to go back to the car she says to me ‘I just don’t think you would be a good addition to the group’. Sorry. You are going to reject me simply because I didn’t know you lot didn’t like alcohol? You aren’t even going to give me a chance to get to know you and you me?
Before I knew what was happening, I was staring a closed door. Yup, I had officially been shunned. I honestly didn’t know what to think. I was racking my brain to remember if there had been anything on their page saying they didn’t drink or if maybe she just didn’t like how I was dressed, the car I drove, or whatever.
All I remember on my drive home is thinking this is just like being in high school. I’m in my late 30’s and I’m still not ‘cool enough’ to hang out with.
When I got home, I went online to check out their page and I found that they had ALREADY removed me from the group
. Wow. Talk about a slap in the face.
I later found out that this particular group did that alot to other parents. Each to their own I guess.
So even though that adventure didn’t turn out to be a positive one, I’m so happy to have found my slightly nutty, always friendly and ready to have a glass with me fellow Mommies from the other two groups. They help make my life that much more interesting.
Till next time – bottom’s up!