Over the past couple of months I’ve been helping a friend of mine back in Australia work through a rough patch. I haven’t been doing anything spectacular, just sending little notes of encouragement, quotes, thoughts on life…. you know the kind of things you send when you can’t just turn up at their door with a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.
Yesterday she messaged me to say thank you and that she feels like there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. We messaged back and forth for awhile till she left of with this comment: You are amazing. It’s just great to know that someone who has it all figured out can be there for someone who is a complete mess. You rock.
Now, while I agree with her that I do indeed rock, and that I am quite amazing, I do not, in any way, have it all figured out.
Nope. No way. Not a chance.
And here’s the thing – no one does.
Not the President, not Angelina Jolie, heck not even Batman has it all together.
It’s what makes us human (well not Batman, as he’s a fictional character, but you get the point).
People may look at me and see a happy person. Someone who loves what they do (I do), who has a loving family (again, I do) and is just generally in a good place in her life (and for the most part I agree with that). But what they don’t know is that most days I’m just trying to keep it all together, just like they are.
I’m just better at hiding it.
Here’s a perfect example for you: the other morning as I was getting ready to tackle the day, Little P was sitting at the table having breakfast. From the bathroom I hear her say, ‘Momma, I had an accident’. Okay, no big deal, thinks I, she’s probably just knocked over her yogurt again. Easy fix. I walk out to see that P has not only knocked over her cup of milk, it was a FULL cup of milk. And it was EVERYWHERE. On the table, on the chair, dripping onto the floor, and of course, all over her.
I picked up the now soaking little one, put her in the tub, telling her to take off her wet clothes. ‘But there’s milk on them!’ she cries. ‘I know, which is why you need to take them off’, I explain and head out to clean up the mess.
Let me just say that whoever coined the phrase ‘no use crying over spilt milk’ more than likely never had to clean it up. ICK.
Now when this all occurred I was half dressed and had half a face on (makeup on only one side – seriously, I looked like Two Face). In the need to get everything cleaned up, P re-dressed and out the door, I totally forgot about me (I did however finish getting dressed). So at 9:30am, we were finally out the door, late for school, late for me to make deliveries and just generally running behind.
I still only had half my face made up.
For the next few hours I ran errands, dropped off product to clients and spoke to a few people along the way.
With only half my face made up.
That’s right, the ‘Mary Kay lady’ spent the better part of her day out and about with one eye covered in makeup and the other bare. I talked to Little P’s teacher, the School Director, three of my clients, people at the grocery store and even the next door neighbors. And the entire time I didn’t realize I looked like a demented pirate.
When I got home and finally looked in the mirror I realized what I looked like. And NOT ONE person had said anything to me about it. NOT ONE.
So my dear friends, if I, someone who is supposed to look like she has it altogether, has moments when life happens, and I survived (barely, my ego is still majorly suffering after that) then you know what, you can to.
Because no matter what anyone tells you, having life all figured out all the time is impossible. And honestly, who would want to have it altogether all the time? Life is messy. But because of this it’s also incredibly beautiful. It’s spontaneous, it’s imperfect, it’s unbelievably breathtaking, but it’s undeniably and often heartbreakingly messy.
Embrace the mess, I say. Grab it with both hands and revel in it. Accept the fact that you more than likely won’t have your act together most of the time, but when you do, man, thank the stars, praise the gods and enjoy the rare moment of knowing that ‘you got this’.
Till next time, remember, YOU ARE AMAZING.